So he finally proposed. I didn’t say yes and I think I know why
Jide and I met over two years ago; we were introduced by Zino my soyoyo friend. I call her Soyoyo partly because of her very fair skin and the fact that you will find her at any of the happening spots in Lagos, when you open complete fashion or any other fashion magazine or blog you are sure to find her in the pages for ‘’who wore what to which party’’. I on the other hand happen to be a very reserved person who wouldn’t go to a party unless it was my family’s or a very close friend’s party. The day I met Jide, I had been planning to spend the whole day at Genesis Cinemas, and when I told Zino, she had joked that I was the only one she knew who goes to the Cinema and spends the whole day there seeing movie after movie. She however told me to drop her at our Tailor’s place before I leave for my marathon movies. She was going to another party that afternoon and only wanted to collect the dress she was wearing for the party.
So we got there and I decided to drop in so I could say hello to Sope our Tailor. Immediately we entered Zino screamed and hugged this guy that was standing at the window so tight. I was straining my neck to see who it was that my friend was showering such attention on but Zino had completely obscured my view, finally she let go and literarily dragged the guy to where I was standing at the entrance.
‘Salewa meet Jide my sure paddy’ she said
So I shook his outstretched hand and said hello while checking him out. I liked what I saw completely, he was just my kind of guy, tall, a little bit fair, and with a perfect set of teeth and to cap it all a lovely smile. I couldn’t help noticing his shoulders, it was so obvious that he visits the gym regularly; the muscles were so sexy that inwardly I licked my lips. Wow I said before I could stop myself
‘’Hi’’ he replied still holding my hand he said ‘’so what is wowing you’’, he asked with a mischievous grin.
‘’Never mind’’ I replied hastily withdrawing my hand
So Zino cuts in, Jide was my very good friend in school then o, but he just ‘fashied’ me and left for the UK without even telling me. Sope is his cousin anyway and I met her through him.
So how are you doing she said dragging him inside the shop, I however coughed to get Zino’s attention I said I was leaving and said goodbye to Jide. Zino however laughed in that throaty way of hers and said
‘Jide you would think she had a business appointment with the way she was rushing right? Na lie o, she is actually going to spend some miserable time alone at the Cinema’.
Jide however smiled and said ‘that’s great, it means we can actually go together, I have been meaning to see a movie myself today’.
So we went to the movies together and that was how we started the relationship.
But now, more than two years later he just proposed this afternoon. What was so shocking is that I hadn’t told him yes, instead I said I needed some time alone, he had looked confused and that look had made me angrier and I had walked out on him leaving him on his knees at the arrival lounge of MMIA. He just returned from visiting his mum and siblings in the UK and I had gone to the airport to pick him. He had only gone for three weeks but I had missed him so badly, I couldn’t wait to spend some time alone with him giving him the entire gist I couldn’t relay over the phone. Jide and I had such a wonderful relationship and I could say that in the two years we have been together we have never had a major fight, He is so calm, matured, and attentive and had never given me any reason to doubt his faithfulness. So as I sighted him, I ran towards him and just as I was giving him my trademark hug- the one where I press my body firmly to his, take his hands and bring it just above my bum and at the same time tip-toeing to give him a kiss on the cheeks he went down on one knee and held out the ring. I remember I had felt shock, a rush of happiness and also bitterness at the same time, ‘’it’s so beautiful’’ I said as I burst into tears but I then said I needed some few minutes to clear my head and left him there on his knee at the airport.
Looking back now, I think I know why I did that. I had gone through so much emotional torture in the past year waiting, wishing and willing him to propose, almost all my friends were married; even Zino had gotten married two months ago. He tells me he loves me all the time, he checks with me before he makes any plans about his future, he even told his mum about me and had given her my number but all these were not enough to reassure me because I didn’t have the ring on my finger yet. That was very important for me, I needed to post that ‘’OMG’’ look holding my finger in front of me on my BB profile and facebook, I needed to read all those ‘’çongrats girl’’ comments from jealous single friends and more importantly I needed it for security it signifies but Jide had refused to do this. I lost count of how many times I typed the letters (waiting for him to propose) on Google, the web pages I read weren’t encouraging either, they all hinted that if he is not proposing despite every indices for marriage being okay you should get out of the relationship.
I believe Jide was aware of how desperate I was, I even summoned enough courage to bring it up a couple of times and both times it had been disastrous. I remember the time I went to visit him and after serving him Poundo Yam and steaming hot Ogbono soup garnished with Shaki, Gizzard, Stock Fish, Liver, Pomo, Kidney…name it. I had laid my head quietly on his chest consciously avoiding his stomach since I had just overfed him. He had started rubbing my shoulders as was characteristic of him and I had said softly.
‘Babajide, I want to talk to you’.
‘I am listening’ he had said sounding so alert and I could already sense he knew whatever I was going to say was serious for me to have called his full name.
So I said, ‘’When are you going to come see my parents’’?
That was my subtle way of saying I wanted him to take it to the next level.
His response had been shocking
‘’What’s that he said’’? Without removing his hand from my shoulders
Are you the one that would teach me what to do? He continued
‘’Do you mean I am not man enough to make decisions? So you have to make them for me’’ he continued in a very calm and controlled manner
‘’Besides are you the one that will propose to me or I will propose to you’’ he added
I remained there in his arms with my head still on his chest not saying a word but I was furious, although I tried not to let him sense my anger.
‘Sora e o Salewa’ he said on a final note signalling that the discussion had ended. We had moved on as if it didn’t happen that night but his reaction had hurt me deeply.
That however hadn’t stopped me from trying a second time, this time around it had been through a text message I sent to his phone and throughout that day he didn’t call me and never picked my calls, then the next day he had called me to say he intentionally didn’t pick my calls because the text I sent annoyed him, that was the last time I mentioned it but I didn’t stop hoping or wishing, I was so tired of being single and was under a lot of pressure from family and friends, it was mostly uncalled for anyway considering I am only 26, but my parents believed since I was working that was the next thing to do. The fact that every girl in my age bracket and in my social circle was either wearing an engagement ring or a wedding band did not also help matters. I believe I even got to a point where I was getting depressed and angry. I tried so much to rid myself of this because I knew it just wasn’t healthy. It got so bad that when I see a girl spotting an engagement ring, I actually hiss inside and wish her boyfriend was a very horrible person who will beat her when they are married.
There were also many times when I thought Babajide was going to do it. There was the time he told me we should spend a weekend in Dubai, I was so sure this was it and was even dancing ‘’Azonto’’ in my mind. The fact that it had been a surprise also made me very confident that this was the proposal trip. I had gone to his place to spend the weekend with him and he had brought out the tickets saying
Shales (his pet name for me) ‘’let’s go spend the weekend in Dubai’’
‘’Yes’’! I exclaimed almost immediately, I wasn’t even going to pretend to be a prudent girlfriend on this one, my brain was already buzzing on just how he was going to propose and what kind of stone will be on the ring.
So we went, he had picked the window seat for me and we were even in first class, I was going crazy with anticipation and almost died from expectant joy when after the plane took off he had dipped his hand into his pocket, brought out something and said;
Shales, ‘’close your eyes and open your mouth for me”
In my mind I was thinking OMG, my baby is so ingenious
When he slipped his fingers into my mouth I frowned immediately and slowly removed the object from my mouth, there on my palm was a bar of Snickers, my favourite chocolate but at that moment I wasn’t happy to see it. My first impulse was to stone him with it but I managed to smile instead.
‘Thought you will love to have it, why are you looking sad?’ he asked
‘Nothing’ I replied, ‘it just wasn’t what I was expecting.’
He had smiled then and said ‘what were you expecting? The key to Central bank vault?’
And we had both laughed.
My spirit had been so down but I held out hope that maybe it was going to happen during our stay in Dubai. I even told myself that maybe he was planning to buy the ring in Dubai since that was a Gold haven. But it hadn’t happened during our stay, while on the return flight I was still hoping that it would happen before we landed, but it never happened. That was over six months ago and today when I least expected it and at a time I was already preaching patience to myself it happened.
Interestingly, exactly four weeks ago I decided to find peace in the word of God and started coming to terms with my situation, I concluded that it was only a matter of time and that Jide was a wonderful, caring and thoughtful man and so he must have his own reasons for waiting this long. That’s why although I knew why I treated Jide the way I did this afternoon, it was a very unchristian thing to do. I wouldn’t have walked out on him, I just needed to clear my head but the confused look on his face had annoyed me, the look was like ’’isn’t this what you have always wanted “and that is annoying and wicked because It tells me he knew I had been suffering all this while but he decided to allow me to go through all the pain.
Anyway, as soon as I finish writing this I am calling him, he has been calling me since that time and had even sent some messages to my phone, he had expressed his confusion about my behaviour and how he was sorry if it was something he had done. I love Jide madly and there is no other man I want to be with, besides the ring is so damn gorgeous. So I am dialling his number now, I want my ring. Interestingly I won’t post it on social media, I will wait for my friends to see it and go like “’oh whoa, when did it happen? And I will flash them this uninterested look of ‘’what’s the big deal, I always knew he was going to marry me”.
P.S Why do guys think women cry when they propose? Contrary to what you think it’s not because she is excited that this wonderful guy is going to be hers, it’s mainly because she is thinking. ‘’Why oh why did it take you so long, why did you make me go through all those sleepless nights, I actually feared you were never going to ask’’.
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